Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Music Carrying Me Down Memory Lane

For quite awhile the lyrics for a song have been haunting my mind "Stars the glisten, lips for kissin' honey listen it's true".  I always knew it was from the Rex Smith movie "Sooner or Later", which most people can remember the song "You take my breath away".  For the life of me I couldn't remember the other song.  Finally I decided to google it and found it...."Simply Jesse".

Ya, some days I'll get the drively ballads pumpin' through my brain, please give me some insulin, but some days I like 'em.

I can tell you the story of my life via ballads.  Or if I hear a ballad, I can recount many more memories of yesteryear.  Another set of keys to unlock my mind.  Now to go flush my brain with some Yngwie Malmsteen, or Metallica, possibly some Brecker Brothers, and follow it up with a nice dose of my fave, Frank Zappa or possibly some David Bowie.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Canadian Election Stupidity

It's election time here in Canada, no real surprise.  I heard some of the campaign rhetoric from one of our major parties and just about died laughing.  The NDP want's to allow municipalities to be able to ban hand guns.  MY GOD!!!  Do these morons think, that the people who have the hand guns (which are pretty much illegal as is) give a rats ass about the law?!  Do these morons think that the people packin' heat to a dope deal, or for a gang retaliation give to flying @)#(*)@#( about the legality of a fire arm!!  While I applaud the concept, the reality is just too funny for words.

How do you get tougher on crime I don't have an easy or simple answers, but people that are going to blatantly skirt the law, are not going to give a damn about a tougher law.  Ultimately people with legal firearms just won't be allowed to have them, and the criminals will still be armed to the hilt.

More Later....
G

Monday, September 22, 2008

Cars (Part II)

Baby Blue

This early 70's navy blue Toyota Corolla was the other part of the replacement of the Olds.  The wagon was a big boat, and really didn't handle well.  Dad normally drove the mickey mouse truck, so this was mom's car.  2 Door and compact this little 4 speed was the car of most of our errands.  Soccer, music lessons, trips through the Burger Baron Drive through, or the A&W Drive in with the tray hanging on the window (yummy frost mug of root beer, better still a root beer float).  So many miles.  This is the car both myself and my bro learned to drive in.  Engine Rebuilds, bearings repacked, regular oil changes, was a great little car. 

Green Bean

The wagon, and the mickey mouse truck got replaced.  Chev 3/4 ton Crew Cab, Scottsdale 20 with a topper.  This was dad's transport, or special occasion transport, and of course the vacation mobile.  You could comfortably seat 6 in the cab, but 4 was much more comfortable.  We put a foldout bed in the box and things were good.  Little bro and I would bounce between the back seat and the box.  Parent would sleep in the box on the flip-flop (foldout bed), little bro got the drivers seat, I go the passenger seat.  Life was good.  Lots of miles in the mountains, to Northern BC, Manitoba and Saskatchewan.

Eventually we got rid of the topper, and installed a Fifth-Wheel hitch.  That became our weekend and vacation home. Installed a 100 gallon gas tank and we could for what seemed like ever.

Had my first serious (in my world) accident in the green bean while learning to drive.  I had mastered baby blue, and my dad was feeling generous.  We were camping in the castle falls camp ground and we needed to make a water run.  Dad tossed me the keys.  I was nervous.  Down the hill, picking up speed.  I didn't adjust the seat or the wheel for me it was still setup for my dad.  I couldn't quite brake hard enough and on the dirt loop was going too fast.  Bang into the trees.  I keep going, and my dad freaked.  I side swiped half of the forest (or at least that what it felt like).  Was another couple of years before I would get handed the keys again. 

Finally it got converted to propane.  So many road trips (on my own or with the family).  So many miles driving to job sites.  Green bean served us well. 

Cars do seem to carry a lot of keys to your memories. Unlock them, enjoy them, maybe even share them. 

More Later....
G

Cars

Often when I'm bombing around the back roads, looking for some inspiration for a photo, I often end up listening to CBC Radio. Yesterday on DNTO, they were talking about cars and lifestyle.  That in itself wasn't a big deal, but one of the guests, I'll have to go back and listen to the podcast to recall her name.  She used cars as a key to unlock memories for seniors, or even writing.  It made me Ponder.

Old Brown Pontiac

This was the first car of my parents I remember.  I vividly remember my parents putting down a piece of plywood in the backseat making it a bed for my little bro and I.  We would bounce and play on the plywood, and then it made the seat deep enough that we could both lie down. Made cross country trips, or trips to the Drive-In possible.


Mickey Mouse Truck

Old 53 Chev Truck with a set of lights on the roof that made it look like it had  mouse ears.  Riding in the box on trips to the dump, or the lumber yard.  This old baby blue guy with 3 in the tree, starter peddle on the floor, no seat belts, brought no end of amusement.  I recall one trip, returning home from hockey practice, I was still in full kit.  My jersey hooked on to the door handle, my dad hit a bump and whoooosh, out I went.  My hockey equipment took the brunt of the road rash, but I still have a little scar on my wrist where the gloves didn't fully protect me. 

I also recall an adventure where dad ran into the lumber yard. My brother and I managed to pop it out of gear, and had to steer it to saftey approximately half a block down the road.  Dad freaked.  But the best to me was riding in the box.  Damn uptight insurance people and government taking away my fun. 

Brown, Simulated Wood, Ford Station Wagon

This replaced the old Pontiac, my bro and I were getting bigger.  Bouncing from the back seat to our toys in the very ample back of the station wagon.  This was the Vacation Vehicle or the special occasion vehicle.  4 Door, bench seats and the back ment there was lots of room for adults and kids. 

My biggest memory from the wagon was the first trip through the Okanogan, the main fruit growing region in Western Canada.  My little bro and I had gorged ourselves on fresh fruit.  It was hot.  The roads are very curvy and in the mountains.  Lots of opportunity to be car sick.  I don't recall for how long, but my little bro and I spent a number of miles hanging our heads out the back of the wagon puking our guts out. We actually peeled the paint off the back bumper, we had puked so much. Mostly cherries, but I think there were some apricots and peaches in the mix.  Then at one of the orchards, someones dog licking all the vomit off the back bumper.  Good times.


More later.
G

Sunday, September 21, 2008

THE DONKEY RAFFLE

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."

Chuck replied, "Well, then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that  I've spent it already."

Chuck said, "Ok, then, just bring me the donkey."

The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Chuck said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey"

Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.00."

The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."


Chuck grew up and works for the government.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

A Dog's Purpose

As a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, 6-years old, were all very attached to Belker; and they were hoping for a miracle.

I found Belker was dying of cancer and told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, but offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it might be good for Shane to observe the procedure to learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said,"People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?"

Shane continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that; so they don't have to stay as long."

  • Live simply.
  • Love generously.
  • Care deeply.
  • Speak kindly.


If a dog were our teacher, we'd learn things like:

  • When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
  • Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
  • Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
  • Take naps.
  • Stretch before rising.
  • Run, romp, and play daily.
  • Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
  • Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
  • On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
  • On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
  • When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
  • Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
  • Be loyal.
  • Never pretend to be something you're not.
  • If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
  • When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
  • ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

anonymous

Friday, September 19, 2008

Count Down To Hockey Begins.

Get ready folks, the 2008-2009 Edmonton Oilers Hockey Season is upon us.
  • 2008/09/21 - Joey Moss Cup
  • 2008/09/22 - Edmonton Oilers Preseason Vs Canucks
  • 2008/09/24 - Edmonton Oilers Preseason Vs Panthers
  • 2008/09/25 - Edmonton Oilers Preseason Vs Panthers
  • 2008/09/30 - Edmonton Oilers Preseason Vs Flames
  • 2008/10/12 - Edmonton Oilers Home Opener vs Avalanche.
Just to give a run up, for the full schedule check the oilers website.

My cameras are at the ready, and I hope to have a good season of shooting for Edmontonoilers.com

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'

And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are.

The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration..'

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy. . . . .

And Cat didn't give a shit one way or other....

Monday, September 1, 2008

So I asked my Doctor

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables ?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable ). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! . Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO -- Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!'
AND . . .

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
  1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
  5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.