Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Currency Transaction Tax

I was listen to Dispatches on CBC radio the other day and they were talking about an interesting idea to increase the coffers for assisting the third world. They were talking about a Currency Transact Tax.  You can read about it here.

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Why Can't I Get A Bailout?!

The Canadian and American governments are tripping over themselves to bailout the auto industry.  Well, there are some strings attached, but that is for another day.  My big question is why does the business world have a hate on for IT.  We are going to save jobs of people that can be replaced by machines.  While we are cut jobs that require actual high skilled intelligent people. 

I'm not blaming industry for shipping jobs to overseas. Sending jobs overseas is just a result of needing to satisfy shareholder value.  The companies using overseas staff, have not reduced head count, they have just employed less expensive staff.  There is a large number of highly qualified  and talented people in these countries, they deserve jobs, so let them work.

My issue now is that all the other companies first reaction to cut costs and "Right Size" is to reduce there overhead. OK, but is the overhead always IT??  We have to pay the executives who's greed, ineptness, or pick your favorite adjective, more than the entire IT department for a salary, and then he deserves a bonus for bankrupting or tanking his company!  Where is the executives accountability? Oh yeah it's in his desire to maintain his bonus. 

I don't disagree that IT sometimes brings on the wrath of business folks on because IT does do stupid stuff.  I also question the brain trust that retrains high school dropouts and people that don't like to use their brains into IT people.  There is also a number of stereotypes within the IT community that doesn't help our cause.  Ultimately we pay the price.

Since the mass hysteria called Y2K, more jobs have been lost in IT than people employed by the auto industry.  Ohh, and business hasn't forgiven us for Y2K, even though it was their fault.  In IT we get stuck with decisions that people that have no idea what the implications are.  They just want to receive the pat on the back from the boss, or receive their kickback or what ever external stimulus has influenced the decision. 
I want my bailout.  I can do a bad job, I'll try really hard if give me money.....

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Monday, May 25, 2009

Ghost Story

This incident took place in Dublin a while ago and although it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock take, it's true according to local towns people.

John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was walking on the side of the road hitchhiking on a dark and stormy night. The rain and fog was so severe he could only see a few feet ahead of him. There were no cars in sight and John was beginning to panic.

Suddenly, he saw headlights approaching. The car was traveling very slowly and came to a stop in front of him. Desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, John got into the car and closed the door.

Only then did he realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't running. The car started moving forward slowly. John looked at the road ahead and knew the car was approaching a sharp curve. Scared that the car would go over the embankment, John started to pray for his life.

Just before the car hit the curve a hand appeared through the drivers side window and turned the wheel.
John was paralysed with fear and terror as he watched the hand repeatedly come through the window though it never touched or harmed him.

Shortly thereafter, John saw the lights of a Pub ahead. Gathering all his strength, he opened the car door, jumped out, and ran towards the Pub.  Soaking wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everyone about the horrible experience he just had. A silence enveloped the Pub when everyone realized he was crying.......and wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the Pub door opened and two other people walked in to escape the stormy night. They, like John, were soaking wet and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other, 'Look Paddy, there's that f*@#* idiot that got in our car while we were pushing it.'

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Political Correctness -- Definition

The following is supposedly the winning entry in an annual contest calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year's term was "Political Correctness".

The winner wrote:
Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.



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Sunday, May 24, 2009

Deadliest Warrior!!

Spike has been airing a cool new series called Deadliest Warrior.  It's in the same vein as Animal Face-off, a number of engineers, and specialists in the selected weapons and warriors, run a series of tests.  The data is then feed into a computer simulation and a winner is selected.  A couple of the episodes are
  • Viking vs Samuri
  • Ninja vs Spartan Warrior
  • Shaolin Monk vs Maori Warrior
there are others, check it out.

More later......
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Saturday, May 23, 2009

Farm Kid In The Marines

(NOW AT San Diego MARINE CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING)

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well.  Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things.  No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.  Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food,  plus yours,  holds you until noon  when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us.  If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different.  A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher.  He nags a lot.  The Captain is like the school board.   Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.  I keep getting medals for shooting.   I don't know why.  The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it.  You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training.  You get to wrestle with them city boys.  I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home.  I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once..  He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.
Your loving daughter,

Alice

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Monday, May 11, 2009

The Best Smart Ass Answers of 2008!!

  • SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
  • SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opene
d his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'
  • SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
  • SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped forspeeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
  • SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
  • SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008!!
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'
  • A BONUS EXTRA
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment. '
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

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